23 Sept 2018

RR - 027: When Bob got pimped (well, almost)


While doing his trawls through the beyond and the back of the beyond, Bob landed up in Biryani Land for a month with two colleagues who will hereafter be called Veeru and Jai.

Now, while most things were good about the La La Spirits training program, providing accommodation to the trainees was not one of the high points. Therefore, even though most of the stints were 30-45 days long, accommodation was provided only for 15 days leaving the blessed souls to do jugaad for the rest of the duration of their stay.

Herein lay the problem. Who in their right mind would want to rent out their place to three bachelor boys for 15 days when there were far better options available. So, Bob, Veeru and Jai put their heads together and came up with a plan. They would go through all the listings in the major newspapers and con an owner into a sweet deal (yes you guessed right, magicbricks, nestaway, 99acres et all had not made their advent then)

After a futile couple of hours where they realized that the house owners were not as dumb as they had thought (and conversely, they too were not as smart as they had imagined) they chanced upon an advertisement which spoke about letting out a room in a furnished apartment in a prime locality in Biryani Land. The asking rate was 50 smackers a month. Very quickly the trio got into overdrive and called up the owner who was very keen to discuss financials with them and invited them to his house in the evening.

Scarcely believing their good fortune and very confident in their negotiation skills (two Madu’s and a Mangalorean make a lethal combo when you think about it) they met up with the owner. The owner said he was a phillum producer and also had quite a few properties which he let out on rent for some additional moolah. After a long duel they managed to bring down the rent to 20 smackers for a month and got breakfast and dinner included as well. Very proud of their smart work, they immediately shifted into their one room in the 4 BHK house that the owner used to let out.

Now, the house was splendidly built. There was a posh sofa set in the hall with a 40-inch TV and the one bedroom that the three of them were to share had an AC and comfortable beds. There was a servant who brought them their breakfast and dinner and there was quite a big kitchen to heat up stuff etc. One thing however that puzzled them was that the other three bedrooms in the house were locked. They had been told that these were occupied by individuals who travelled quite a lot across the State/ Country. But when none of them had made an appearance even after a week, the boys found it a little strange but didn’t pay any further attention to it.

And so, it had been a week, things were good, life was chugging along and Bob, Veeru and Jai had gotten quite comfortable with their routine of getting up in the morning, the servant bringing their breakfast, getting ready and going to work and then having dinner post coming back from work. Many days they would step out after office for a few chugs of the good stuff and thus reach back quite late, have dinner and crash. In fact they were so happy with the brilliant arrangements they had jugadofied that they had even boasted to the rest of the trainees that they need not search for accommodation and could continue the lease once they left.

Then, as always, came the twist in the tale. One fine day, Jai made a startling discovery. It all began with a headache. Jai, being from one of those old, aristocratic families from Bongland was not used to the gallivanting all day in the hot sun that his trainee sales profile called for. Hence after about a week, he was quite fed up of it, had a mild headache which he magnified appropriately and came back early from work with happy notions of lounging on the aforementioned comfy sofa, sipping on some chilled beer and watching a movie on the telly.

So as soon as he got home he got into his burgundy pajamas (yes, you read that right) opened a couple of cans of the frothy stuff and put on the idiot box on full volume and gave a loud sigh of relief. It felt so good to get away from selling those stuffy spirits in the strong mid-afternoon sun. But after a bit of the enjoyment, he heard some noises emanating from one of the rooms. Thinking that the servant might be around, he went to check but the other three rooms still appeared to be locked. Cursing himself for his overactive imagination he got back to his Bollywood Beats. But, a few moments later, he again thought he heard some noises in one of the bedrooms. Determined to get to the bottom of it, he went and knocked on the door of the room which had caught his attention. Whatever noises had been coming suddenly went silent. Shrugging to himself he got back to his entertainment but much to his shock a few minutes later, the door of the room under question opened and out walked a couple and quickly left the house without so much as giving him a second look.

This sudden appearance of the strange couple startled Jai no end and he messaged Veeru and Bob to come back early from work. When the duo got back after a couple of hours, he narrated the entire incident to them only leaving out the severity of the headache which was not pertinent to the narrative.

While all three had led sheltered lives and would probably go on to have blameless futures, phillum producers and strange couples in bedrooms was not something to be taken lightly. This seemed like a Hotel Decent kind of a situation (aka the hindi movie Jab We Met). After strategizing, mitigation theories and all those kind of things, they finally decided that the best way to get to the bottom of this was to get hold of the servant and get the truth out of him. So that evening when he came with their dinner, they cornered him and harangued him till he spilled the beans. Their Hotel Decent suspicions were indeed true!!!

The next two weeks turned out to be quite uncomfortable for the trio as having paid the monthly rent in advance they were in a fix. Getting alternative accommodation as they knew was not the easiest of tasks in the city. So, they started leaving early for work and coming back late to ensure that they spent the minimum amount of time in the house. For the last week of their stay they managed to plead with the Admin guy in office and got accommodation in their company guesthouse and thus got out of the rented flat in double quick time and then heaved a sigh of relief!!!

Hotel Decent’s and strange couples could be quite trying on the nerves and they were happy to escape unscathed.


Note:


1. All characters are fictional. Resemblance, if any, is purely coincidental.

2. Kindly refer the opening post on Buffering Theories for any reference to the main characters.

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