It was a clear, pleasant night. The stars were bright in the sky. There was a full moon etc etc. But the Conquerors were not seeing any of this. Why? Because they were busy slogging on their Marketing Assignment. The deadline was 9 am the next morning. And procrastrination had lead to them starting it at 11 pm the previous night. And when you were in the project group with the conquerors, doing assignments was not an easy task.
A typical pattern would be as follows:
Sambaji would have made some preparations for the assignment before the group met (imagine that !!!) based on some notes in class and some diligent reading of the case study material. But this superficial good student behaviour had an ulterior motive. He usually dozed off at 1 am sharp................case study solved or not !!!
Aurangzeb aspired to be the "Brain" of the group. So he loved to argue out and thrash over the minutest of details of case studies thus taking hours for a case study which should have needed minutes to solve.
The Knight used to be the partner in crime of Aurangzeb in these case studies. He too loved to argue over stuff. He would have loved to be The Espionage Agent but sadly lacked the assets needed for that particular job profile. So he had to settle for the wannabe "Brain" role with Aurangzeb.
Ladykiller was the anti Espionage Agent. He would carefully listen to all the discussions which Sambaji, Aurangzeb and The Knight had (before 1 am) and those which Aurangzeb and The Knight had (post 1 am) and leak out the salient points to the Lady Espionage Agents of other groups hoping that this would lead him to Nirvana.
And finally there was The Consultant. He was The Formatter. And an awesome one at that. He would usually pay no attention to the group when the case study was being debated but would spring to life after the discussions ended (usually at 3 am) and would leave the rest blinking in disbelief when the matter was presented the next day.
So coming back to the night in question. The aforementioned characters were struggling through their case study when The Knight suddenly got a call at around 1 am. It was IWPAF. Universal Soldier had been put behind bars by the cops and they needed his help urgently.
Now The Conquerors while into Buffering, Cluster Bombing and lots of other such mundane stuff were nice guys at the end of it all. They loved to play Good Samaritans (maybe they thought it would help score some brownie points with the right audience). Hence, as soon as they got this SOS, The Knight and Shivaji hopped on to their respective rides with Aurangzeb riding pillion behind The Knight. They soon reached the station imprisioning Universal Soldier and while IWPAF directed The Knight into the Station JLo started narrating the how, where and why.
For those not in the know, Jlo was ofcourse famous for her magnificient derriere. She had come under the radar of Shivaji and Sambaji on the first day of college itself but they had not had much of a chance to work their theories on her as she had started dating IWPAF a few days into college. Here, thought Shivaji was his big chance to go one up on Sambaji.
Jlo leaned against the car, gave a sigh (in unison with Shivaji and Aurangzeb) and narrated her story as follows:
Looking at the clear, pleasant night, the bright stars, the full moon etc etc, unlike the Conquerors who were wrestling with their assignment, Universal Soldier, IWPAF and herself decided to go out for dinner. After tossing down quite a few ones, the merry trio decided to go for a drive. And some way into the drive, Universal Soldier saw something irrestible: a traffic cone. So he stopped the car, got down, picked up the cone, put it into the back seat much to JLo's astonishment (or so she said), got back in and started driving again. However, this was a trap. Hardly had they gone a few kilometers, than a siren sounded behind them and the cops started chasing them. Apparently, she said, they had been hunting for these very traffic cone stealers.
"Ahh" exclaimed Aurangzeb. "That explains it !!!
On getting a puzzled glance from Jlo and Shivaji, he started narrating the incident.
Two days before, when Aurangzeb woke up in the morning and decided to have some lunch (yes morning was past 12) he found a gleaming traffic cone in the corridor outside his room. And Universal Soldier playing policeman. He was making their juniors pass from only one side of the cone and deriving great amusement out of it. The day before, when he woke up again in time for lunch, he found a second gleaming cone beside the first and Universal Soldier cackling with glee. And this morning he had found the third of the trio.
"Ahh" exclaimed JLo and Shivaji, getting Aurangzeb's drift.
At this point, JLo continued her narration. Hearing the wailing siren behind them, Universal Soldier stomped on the accelerator and tried to out run the cops. However, these were not like the stereotypical Hindi film cops who were always outwitted by the crooks. They had another vehicle coming from the opposite direction and soon sandwiched Universal Soldier & Co. On being asked to get out of the car, Universal Soldier tried to muscle his was through and as a result was soon cooling his heels behind bars.
Now, Shivaji was a great believer of the "Strike when the iron is hot" theory. So he said:
Dont you worry my dear,
We will have him out in a jiffy, dont ye fear,
But you look on the verge of a tear,
Let me take you to the comfort of a bar quite near
Aurangzeb pretended not to have heard these very cheesy lines. He was now getting eager to rescue Universal Soldier, get done with this ridiculous situation and get back to their assignment. And it seemed that JLo had definitely not heard it. There was something much more important on her mind.
She took a step towards Shivaji, looked deep into his eyes and said in a husky voice "There has been something I have been meaning to tell you for quite some time now"
"Tell me" said Shivaji eagerly taking a step towards her, thinking this was the moment he had been bombing for ages now.
"There is some marijuana in the car" she said.
"Eh?" said Shivaji, jumping two steps backward
Aurangzeb and he looked at each other dumbfounded. They did not know whether to laugh or cry. It was as if gravity had pulled her brains into her famed backside. She had narrated the nights incidents for the better part of half an hour with illicit stuff in a car parked within the premises of a Police Station. Quite unbelievable !!!
The next few moments passed by in a flash. Shivaji quickly took the offending stuff out of the vehicle and got rid of it. The Knight managed to free Universal Soldier. And Aurangzeb managed to get them back to campus in time to complete their assignment.
And they lived to buffer another day.
Note:
1. All characters are fictional. Resemblance, if any is purely coincidental.
2. Kindly refer the opening post on Buffering Theories for any reference to the main characters.
15 May 2011
8 May 2011
RR-014: Buffering Theories - Prologue (Part 2)
The first month of Term 1 went off quite smoothly. Aurangzeb, Sambaji & Ladykiller were last in Economics after the first round of quizzes. Shivaji who was rooming with The Knight (but not hanging out with them just yet) had become insomniacal due to the rythmic battlecries that the Knight emitted all through the night.Aurangzeb was getting used to listening to high decibel (read jarring) Punjabi Pop blasting till 3 am courtesy The Consultant and hordes of chicks hanging out with Ladykiller at all points of time. The seniors after having ragged them to glory initially had now become good pals.
All in all it was good fun.
And then Shivaji started hanging out with the Conquerors!!!
To understand how this happened one needs to flashback to the time before they joined LLM. The Seniors were doing their summers and eager to help out their as yet to join junior batch. The juniors were extremely eager to know intricate details which would help define their future at the college (dress codes, hostel food, vehicle parking, eating out places, beach parties...............in short everything apart from the course). So a group was created for these extremely important queries and everything was hunky dory with the same queries being repeated over and over again and ditto with the answers till one day Sarcozy entered the fray.
Now Sarcozy at that point of time was a complete mystery. Initially nobody even knew who he was - junior/ senior/ hacker maybe?. He was in fact a senior who was very good at writing extremely sarcastic emails and really loved to make fun of many of the silly queries which most juniors tended to ask.
And it all began like this. A chick had a query (yes everything starts with chicks !!!)about the same extremely important stuff mentioned about earlier. Since this was like the hundreth query on the same topic, there came a very sarcastic riposte from Sarcozy. Seeing a battle brewing up, Shivaji and Sambaji saw the chance to score some brownie points with the chick by defending her......... err virtual honour.
Over the next few days, there began a series of battles with the two trading insults with Sarcozy who gve back with equal gusto. Interestingly the lady whose honour was being defended was virtually nowhere to be seen during this interval. To cut a long story short it concluded by Shivaji and Sambaji asking Sarcozy to "get a life !" and Sarcozy in turn calling them a gay couple. Even more interestingly, post the mayhem,which went on for a couple of weeks, the chick re-appeared and posted that she had loved Sarcozy's sarcasm and would love to meet up with him, thus leaving both Shivaji and Sambaji red faced and nowhere to hide.
This resulted in not only some added spice in the ragging sessions which happened when they joined campus but also some bonding between them thus resulting in Shivaji eventually hanging out with them. Now Shivaji's addition to the group brought out a latent dimension in the group. While on the surface they all joked about his cluster bombing theories and his sink before you swim attitude, they all secretly admired him. And so it was that these six guys hung out a lot together. Most nights they would be found at their regular watering hole called Angels. They never quite figured out why they hung out so much there..............maybe it was the cheap booze, or the strictly ok food or the proximity to campus.
So the only person left to join the band was The Buffer. And they bumped into him a month down the line, or he literally bumped himself into them.
It was a week night. There wernt any particular assignments to do, and they were all still recovering from their previous night's binge. A good night thought Aurangzeb to sleep a little early (early was 12 am)and get some much needed shuteye. But just as he was straightening out the blankets, in walked Sambaji and The Buffer. Sambaji and The Buffer had discovered that they were acquainted and Sambaji wanted to share his sorrow with the rest. So in came The Buffer, introduced himself and promptly plonked himself on the floor...............for the next three hours. After half an hour of polite conversation, Aurangzeb started giving tiny yawns hoping The Buffer would take the hint. He did not. After another half hour of not so polite conversation, Aurangzeb gave bigger yawns accompanied by sound bytes. The Buffer still did not notice. After another half an hour, Aurangzeb tunneled under the sheets and pretended to be asleep hoping The Buffer would atleast now go away. But he still did not. Though they did not know it then, this was the moment when The Buffer actually became The Buffer designate. If he could just walk into a room and have a monologue with three almost complete strangers who were trying their best to escape, then he could well buffer anybody else on campus.
But by the end of term 1, they had all gelled together quite well and thus started The Buffering Theory.
Note:
1. All characters are fictional. Resemblance, if any is purely coincidental.
2. Kindly refer the opening post on Buffering Theories for any reference to the main characters.
All in all it was good fun.
And then Shivaji started hanging out with the Conquerors!!!
To understand how this happened one needs to flashback to the time before they joined LLM. The Seniors were doing their summers and eager to help out their as yet to join junior batch. The juniors were extremely eager to know intricate details which would help define their future at the college (dress codes, hostel food, vehicle parking, eating out places, beach parties...............in short everything apart from the course). So a group was created for these extremely important queries and everything was hunky dory with the same queries being repeated over and over again and ditto with the answers till one day Sarcozy entered the fray.
Now Sarcozy at that point of time was a complete mystery. Initially nobody even knew who he was - junior/ senior/ hacker maybe?. He was in fact a senior who was very good at writing extremely sarcastic emails and really loved to make fun of many of the silly queries which most juniors tended to ask.
And it all began like this. A chick had a query (yes everything starts with chicks !!!)about the same extremely important stuff mentioned about earlier. Since this was like the hundreth query on the same topic, there came a very sarcastic riposte from Sarcozy. Seeing a battle brewing up, Shivaji and Sambaji saw the chance to score some brownie points with the chick by defending her......... err virtual honour.
Over the next few days, there began a series of battles with the two trading insults with Sarcozy who gve back with equal gusto. Interestingly the lady whose honour was being defended was virtually nowhere to be seen during this interval. To cut a long story short it concluded by Shivaji and Sambaji asking Sarcozy to "get a life !" and Sarcozy in turn calling them a gay couple. Even more interestingly, post the mayhem,which went on for a couple of weeks, the chick re-appeared and posted that she had loved Sarcozy's sarcasm and would love to meet up with him, thus leaving both Shivaji and Sambaji red faced and nowhere to hide.
This resulted in not only some added spice in the ragging sessions which happened when they joined campus but also some bonding between them thus resulting in Shivaji eventually hanging out with them. Now Shivaji's addition to the group brought out a latent dimension in the group. While on the surface they all joked about his cluster bombing theories and his sink before you swim attitude, they all secretly admired him. And so it was that these six guys hung out a lot together. Most nights they would be found at their regular watering hole called Angels. They never quite figured out why they hung out so much there..............maybe it was the cheap booze, or the strictly ok food or the proximity to campus.
So the only person left to join the band was The Buffer. And they bumped into him a month down the line, or he literally bumped himself into them.
It was a week night. There wernt any particular assignments to do, and they were all still recovering from their previous night's binge. A good night thought Aurangzeb to sleep a little early (early was 12 am)and get some much needed shuteye. But just as he was straightening out the blankets, in walked Sambaji and The Buffer. Sambaji and The Buffer had discovered that they were acquainted and Sambaji wanted to share his sorrow with the rest. So in came The Buffer, introduced himself and promptly plonked himself on the floor...............for the next three hours. After half an hour of polite conversation, Aurangzeb started giving tiny yawns hoping The Buffer would take the hint. He did not. After another half hour of not so polite conversation, Aurangzeb gave bigger yawns accompanied by sound bytes. The Buffer still did not notice. After another half an hour, Aurangzeb tunneled under the sheets and pretended to be asleep hoping The Buffer would atleast now go away. But he still did not. Though they did not know it then, this was the moment when The Buffer actually became The Buffer designate. If he could just walk into a room and have a monologue with three almost complete strangers who were trying their best to escape, then he could well buffer anybody else on campus.
But by the end of term 1, they had all gelled together quite well and thus started The Buffering Theory.
Note:
1. All characters are fictional. Resemblance, if any is purely coincidental.
2. Kindly refer the opening post on Buffering Theories for any reference to the main characters.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)