By the time we woke up the next day, groggy and disoriented, it was past 8.30. I was told that the venue was just 20 mins away and whoever heard of engagements starting on time anyway? So after leaving the house by 9 and making a couple of pit-stops to pick up a couple of damsels on the way (chivalry when your running late can be extremely trying indeed) we managed to reach the venue at ...................10.30 !!!. How so? Read on........
Only LR had been to SM's house before. Hence he was playing the role of the navigator. VS was elected to drive assuming he was the fastest and the safest after the previous night's excesses. Im guessing I missed seeing LR fall and take a knock on the head because he suddenly started behaving like Ghajini whenever we looked to him to provide directions. Im sure he would have given Aamir Khan a run for his money if he had auditioned for the role then. The road which he was sure led to the venue the first moment, suddenly became alien the next.
So off we chugged along, north the first moment and then south the next. Finally we managed to reach the vicinity of the venue and just to confirm the exact location, we zeroed in on a HDFC ATM and more importantly the security guard loitering next to it. LR signalled him to come closer and the moment he did so, slid down the window and......... SNEEZED ON HIM!!!.
It was a very accurate and powerful sneeze. Not a single droplet missed the intended target. The security guard was too stunned to say a word. But you have to give credit where credit is due. LR was completely unfazed and even managed to get directions out of the poor fellow and off we toodled along and finally reached SM's house.
We hurried into the main hall to find the ceremonies underway. Uncles, aunts, cousins, friends, relatives were all in attendance. We quietly joined them and just as I was congratulating myself for having made a surreptitious entry, Shakira started blaring loudly to my right. It was our very own "Joey" aka LR who had forgotten to put his cell on silent.
For those blessed with a vivid imagination, I would suggest you imagine the following:
a. hymns and sholkas being sung by priests
b. proud parents with tears in their eyes
c. the happy couple waiting to exchange rings
d. "Laundry Service" by Shakira blasting to glory
e. A horrified LR oblivious to his surroundings shouting f***, f***, f*** and disappearing at top speed.
At that moment I truly wished the floor had opened up and swallowed me whole. All present were giving me extremely dirty looks as if waiting for my Shakira tune to start. I tried to appear as nonchalant as possible and pretend as if nothing untoward had happened. But that was a mite difficult and understandably so !!!
The rest of the engagement went off comparatively uneventfully until the post lunch session. SM's brother brought out a guitar and serenaded us with songs which he had specially composed for the occasion. While most of us listened quite attentively, LR dozed off right next to the bro completely oblivious to his surroundings. If he had nodded a bit more, he would have probably fallen into the bro's lap.
And then came the most hilarious part. Everybody started insisting that AD sing a song for his beloved. While he of course tried to escape this public outing of his vocal chords by giving random excuses, all of which were rejected, to egg him on SM suggested that he sing songs of Madhubala who was supposedly his favourite (funny as he doesn't look old enough to be born in the sixties). At this point of time LR suddenly awoke from his slumber refreshed and revitalized and having heard only the last part about AD's liking (supposed) for Madhubala utttered the following " AD, if you like Madhubala why did you keep Pamela Anderson's photographs in your drawer in college?".
I think, this time every person in the room wished the floor opened up and swallowed him. While the father looked at the ceiling, the mother looked at the floor and we all despicable people looked at each other and burst out laughing. This was one of those times when we saw a sinister gleam in AD's eyes. A mad light which overrides reason. Fortunately his better half had a calming influence on him and there was a happy ending to the day's proceedings.
Only LR had been to SM's house before. Hence he was playing the role of the navigator. VS was elected to drive assuming he was the fastest and the safest after the previous night's excesses. Im guessing I missed seeing LR fall and take a knock on the head because he suddenly started behaving like Ghajini whenever we looked to him to provide directions. Im sure he would have given Aamir Khan a run for his money if he had auditioned for the role then. The road which he was sure led to the venue the first moment, suddenly became alien the next.
So off we chugged along, north the first moment and then south the next. Finally we managed to reach the vicinity of the venue and just to confirm the exact location, we zeroed in on a HDFC ATM and more importantly the security guard loitering next to it. LR signalled him to come closer and the moment he did so, slid down the window and......... SNEEZED ON HIM!!!.
It was a very accurate and powerful sneeze. Not a single droplet missed the intended target. The security guard was too stunned to say a word. But you have to give credit where credit is due. LR was completely unfazed and even managed to get directions out of the poor fellow and off we toodled along and finally reached SM's house.
We hurried into the main hall to find the ceremonies underway. Uncles, aunts, cousins, friends, relatives were all in attendance. We quietly joined them and just as I was congratulating myself for having made a surreptitious entry, Shakira started blaring loudly to my right. It was our very own "Joey" aka LR who had forgotten to put his cell on silent.
For those blessed with a vivid imagination, I would suggest you imagine the following:
a. hymns and sholkas being sung by priests
b. proud parents with tears in their eyes
c. the happy couple waiting to exchange rings
d. "Laundry Service" by Shakira blasting to glory
e. A horrified LR oblivious to his surroundings shouting f***, f***, f*** and disappearing at top speed.
At that moment I truly wished the floor had opened up and swallowed me whole. All present were giving me extremely dirty looks as if waiting for my Shakira tune to start. I tried to appear as nonchalant as possible and pretend as if nothing untoward had happened. But that was a mite difficult and understandably so !!!
The rest of the engagement went off comparatively uneventfully until the post lunch session. SM's brother brought out a guitar and serenaded us with songs which he had specially composed for the occasion. While most of us listened quite attentively, LR dozed off right next to the bro completely oblivious to his surroundings. If he had nodded a bit more, he would have probably fallen into the bro's lap.
And then came the most hilarious part. Everybody started insisting that AD sing a song for his beloved. While he of course tried to escape this public outing of his vocal chords by giving random excuses, all of which were rejected, to egg him on SM suggested that he sing songs of Madhubala who was supposedly his favourite (funny as he doesn't look old enough to be born in the sixties). At this point of time LR suddenly awoke from his slumber refreshed and revitalized and having heard only the last part about AD's liking (supposed) for Madhubala utttered the following " AD, if you like Madhubala why did you keep Pamela Anderson's photographs in your drawer in college?".
I think, this time every person in the room wished the floor opened up and swallowed him. While the father looked at the ceiling, the mother looked at the floor and we all despicable people looked at each other and burst out laughing. This was one of those times when we saw a sinister gleam in AD's eyes. A mad light which overrides reason. Fortunately his better half had a calming influence on him and there was a happy ending to the day's proceedings.
