RR - 027: When Bob got pimped (well, almost)

While doing his trawls through the beyond and the back of the beyond, Bob landed up in Biryani Land for a month with two colleagues who will hereafter be called Veeru and Jai.

Now, while most things were good about the La La Spirits training program, providing accommodation to the trainees was not one of the high points. Therefore, even though most of the stints were 30-45 days long, accommodation was provided only for 15 days leaving the blessed souls to do jugaad for the rest of the duration of their stay.

Herein lay the problem. Who in their right mind would want to rent out their place to three bachelor boys for 15 days when there were far better options available. So, Bob, Veeru and Jai put their heads together and came up with a plan. They would go through all the listings in the major newspapers and con an owner into a sweet deal (yes you guessed right, magicbricks, nestaway, 99acres et all had not made their advent then)

After a futile couple of hours where they realized that the house owners were not as dumb as they had thought (and conversely, they too were not as smart as they had imagined) they chanced upon an advertisement which spoke about letting out a room in a furnished apartment in a prime locality in Biryani Land. The asking rate was 50 smackers a month. Very quickly the trio got into overdrive and called up the owner who was very keen to discuss financials with them and invited them to his house in the evening.

Scarcely believing their good fortune and very confident in their negotiation skills (two Madu’s and a Mangalorean make a lethal combo when you think about it) they met up with the owner. The owner said he was a phillum producer and also had quite a few properties which he let out on rent for some additional moolah. After a long duel they managed to bring down the rent to 20 smackers for a month and got breakfast and dinner included as well. Very proud of their smart work, they immediately shifted into their one room in the 4 BHK house that the owner used to let out.

Now, the house was splendidly built. There was a posh sofa set in the hall with a 40-inch TV and the one bedroom that the three of them were to share had an AC and comfortable beds. There was a servant who brought them their breakfast and dinner and there was quite a big kitchen to heat up stuff etc. One thing however that puzzled them was that the other three bedrooms in the house were locked. They had been told that these were occupied by individuals who travelled quite a lot across the State/ Country. But when none of them had made an appearance even after a week, the boys found it a little strange but didn’t pay any further attention to it.

And so, it had been a week, things were good, life was chugging along and Bob, Veeru and Jai had gotten quite comfortable with their routine of getting up in the morning, the servant bringing their breakfast, getting ready and going to work and then having dinner post coming back from work. Many days they would step out after office for a few chugs of the good stuff and thus reach back quite late, have dinner and crash. In fact they were so happy with the brilliant arrangements they had jugadofied that they had even boasted to the rest of the trainees that they need not search for accommodation and could continue the lease once they left.

Then, as always, came the twist in the tale. One fine day, Jai made a startling discovery. It all began with a headache. Jai, being from one of those old, aristocratic families from Bongland was not used to the gallivanting all day in the hot sun that his trainee sales profile called for. Hence after about a week, he was quite fed up of it, had a mild headache which he magnified appropriately and came back early from work with happy notions of lounging on the aforementioned comfy sofa, sipping on some chilled beer and watching a movie on the telly.

So as soon as he got home he got into his burgundy pajamas (yes, you read that right) opened a couple of cans of the frothy stuff and put on the idiot box on full volume and gave a loud sigh of relief. It felt so good to get away from selling those stuffy spirits in the strong mid-afternoon sun. But after a bit of the enjoyment, he heard some noises emanating from one of the rooms. Thinking that the servant might be around, he went to check but the other three rooms still appeared to be locked. Cursing himself for his overactive imagination he got back to his Bollywood Beats. But, a few moments later, he again thought he heard some noises in one of the bedrooms. Determined to get to the bottom of it, he went and knocked on the door of the room which had caught his attention. Whatever noises had been coming suddenly went silent. Shrugging to himself he got back to his entertainment but much to his shock a few minutes later, the door of the room under question opened and out walked a couple and quickly left the house without so much as giving him a second look.

This sudden appearance of the strange couple startled Jai no end and he messaged Veeru and Bob to come back early from work. When the duo got back after a couple of hours, he narrated the entire incident to them only leaving out the severity of the headache which was not pertinent to the narrative.

While all three had led sheltered lives and would probably go on to have blameless futures, phillum producers and strange couples in bedrooms was not something to be taken lightly. This seemed like a Hotel Decent kind of a situation (aka the hindi movie Jab We Met). After strategizing, mitigation theories and all those kind of things, they finally decided that the best way to get to the bottom of this was to get hold of the servant and get the truth out of him. So that evening when he came with their dinner, they cornered him and harangued him till he spilled the beans. Their Hotel Decent suspicions were indeed true!!!

The next two weeks turned out to be quite uncomfortable for the trio as having paid the monthly rent in advance they were in a fix. Getting alternative accommodation as they knew was not the easiest of tasks in the city. So, they started leaving early for work and coming back late to ensure that they spent the minimum amount of time in the house. For the last week of their stay they managed to plead with the Admin guy in office and got accommodation in their company guesthouse and thus got out of the rented flat in double quick time and then heaved a sigh of relief!!!

Hotel Decent’s and strange couples could be quite trying on the nerves and they were happy to escape unscathed.

Note:


1. All characters are fictional. Resemblance, if any, is purely coincidental.

2. Kindly refer the opening post on Buffering Theories for any reference to the main characters.

RR - 026: Something about Bob

Bob had studied along with Shivaji, Sambaji, Aurangzeb, The Knight and The Buffer (aka The Conquerors) at The LLM (The La La Land of Management).

Bob was somewhat similar to Aurangzeb in terms of his innocent looks but did not share his Machiavellian nature. In between his strict liquid diet consisting of Feni shots, Romanov and Old Monk he had managed to have an eddication at LLM and hence got through to La La Spirits through his campus placement.

Now, La La Spirits had a very nice training program in which they made all the new joinees trawl through the length and breadth of India so that they could get up close and personal with the spirit loving masses of the country. What did Bob do? He trawled along with the rest of the new joinees and just about managed to complete the training program and got his first role in La La Spirits. And that is where he encountered his first Boss, Red Rackham.

So, who was Red Rackham? Red Rackham was tall and thin with a straggly greying beard and used to think of himself as a modern manager (whatever that meant). He was a senior guy and a lifer at La La Spirits and had risen through the ranks.  He was a workaholic, suffered from an inferiority complex and also had this sadistic streak which Bob was soon to discover. Quite a jolly fellow on the whole then.

After working for a couple of months with Red Rackham, Bob encountered some of his aforementioned qualities. There was a reunion planned at LLM and Bob was eager to meet up with The Conquerors and his other comrades and thus went up to Red Rackham and requested for a day’s leave on the following Thursday. Friday was a holiday for Holi and he would therefore be back in office on Monday.

Red Rackham sanctioned his leave immediately and even enquired into the reason for it seemingly innocently whereupon Bob shared with him his grandiose reunion plans. It was not till much later that the real reason for this enquiry dawned upon Bob. The weekend came and went and on Monday Red Rackham casually asked him when exactly was he going on leave and Bob said Thursday.  On Tuesday, Red Rackham again unconcernedly asked him as to the day of his leave. Bob was a bit puzzled but again replied that it was from the coming Thursday. On Wednesday, Red Rackham reconfirmed his leave for the next day and Bob as had become the norm confirmed it again.

By now, Bob was sensing real trouble. Being of Mangalorean descent, some of the genetic cunning and shrewdness which that race has been blessed with had trickled down to him as well. Therefore on the stroke of 5.30 on Wednesday, Bob left office and caught a train to his residence. He reached home by 7 pm and just as he was packing his bags to be ready for his 9 pm bus, his phone rang.

It was Red Rackham. He enquired into Bob’s well being and then asked him where he was. Fortunately Bob had the POM (Presence of Mind) probably attributable to the aforesaid Mangalorean qualities to say that he was already on the bus to La La Land. Red Rackham gave a sigh and went on and the conversation went something like this:

Red Rackham: I am very sorry buddy but we have a situation here (yes it was buddy and not bro back then)

Bob: Tell me Sir

Red Rackham: Some urgent work has come up and I was hoping that you could cancel your holiday

Bob: Silence

Red Rackham: Hullo, Hullo, Hullo, Bob are you there?

Bob: Sir, I would have gladly cancelled my holiday but unfortunately am already on the bus and err you know and all that (silently congratulating himself on his quick wittedness)

Red Rackham: that’s really sad, we need to mitigate this situation (frickin liar this Bob, aint as innocent as he looks)

Bob: Hullo, Hullo, Hullo

Red Rackham: Are you there? (bloody bugger)

Bob: Yes Sir, I can hear you now, range is a little low probably as I am travelling (real smooth)

Red Rackham: Why don’t you do one thing?

Bob: Tell me Sir

Red Rackham: You will reach La La Land tomorrow morning, you can meet your friends and then take the evening bus and come back. We can then meet in office on Saturday (gotcha)

Bob: Hullo, Hullo, Hullo (should I cut the call and switch on airplane mode?)

Red Rackham: Bob, please confirm

Bob: Errr, you see, ummm, I say, let me reach La La Land and figure this out

Red Rackham: Okie, ta ta, have fun!!!

What did Bob do? He reached La La Land, switched off his phone and partied with The Conquerors for the next four days and got back to office on Monday morning. Fortunately for him, the matter ended with a tongue lashing from Red Rackham and work went on as usual.

Note:


1. All characters are fictional. Resemblance, if any, is purely coincidental.

2. Kindly refer the opening post on Buffering Theories for any reference to the main characters.