RR-013: Buffering Theories - Prologue (Part 1)

How it all began:

Circa 2005. Aurangzeb was eagerly awaiting the results of his final MBA entrance exam. This was his last opportunity to do a PGDBM this year, else he would have to continue at his low paying, blade manufacturing organisation for another year. Fortunately, when the results came in, he had managed to get through by the skin of his teeth. Thus he quit his job, packed his bag and got ready to do his MBA in La La Land.

The Knight had been busy trying to make his Architectural career earn him a living. But it was not much fun designing footwalks and promenades and not getting paid for them. So he started thinking along the lines of a PG somewhere in between fighting for his cheques. And thought became action when he saw his confirmation letter in the mail one day.

The Buffer had done his engineering from a college which sounded more like a Baba Ramdev/ Art of Living Institute.They taught revolutionary things about automobiles there. Like torque being directly proportional to speed and thus a Rolls Royce having to start in the 4th gear. So what better way to practise what they preached than doing a Masters in La La Land thought the Buffer. And thus one more joined the growing group.

The Consultant had worked with the best from…………….the consulting field ofcourse. But he had one burning ambition in life: get houses, cars, money (and lots of it) and a perch at the top of the corporate ladder before he was thirty. And the ladder began with a PG.

Ladykiller had worked at a BPO after his graduation. As a result of which he had become an insomniac, developed a slight accent and also got girls drooling all over him. But he had now reached a stage where it was time for him to get rid of the first two and ofcourse enhance the third.

Sambaji came from the Shipping Industry. He knew the ins and outs of the industry as well as the people working there right from the highly CEO’s to the lowly secretaries. But somehere he felt something was missing. He wanted to go from a big ship in a small pond to a slightly smaller ship in a larger pond. And so he too found himself enrolling for the course in La La land.

And finally there was Shivaji. He had worked for a year on the shopfloor putting his engineering skills to great use. But there was one tiny little problem. The shopfloor did not have any members of the opposite sex working there. So to broaden his horizons, both figuratively and literally he too joined up.

So, in the June of 2005, there were these aforementioned characters who landed up at the La La Land of Management (referred to hereon as LLM)

It was a Sunday when Aurangzeb arrived on campus with a few other people he had met on the train. He had met Ladykiller too on the train but was mildly put off by his American accent and North Indian style. However, fate had something else in mind. By the time the group arrived on campus, there were only two good rooms available in the hostel and by the time Aurangzeb could inspect and select, there was only the one left with the three guys he knew on the train having taken the other one.

So with a sigh he took the ground floor room and prayed for a couple of decent roommates.And it was not 15 minutes before the first one arrived. And who was it but Ladykiller himself. Having trawled through the hostel and coming to the same realization as Aurangzeb had a few moments earlier, he dumped his bags on the bed opposite to Aurangzeb’s and immediately lit up a cigarette. Both started unpacking their stuff and over the next couple of hours were almost done when The Consultant walked in with his disapproving father. Why disapproving?................because there were plenty of cigarette buts strewn on the floor courtesy Ladykiller.

But fortunately for all concerned, his father kept his disapproval to himself and so formed the first part of the Conquerors.

The next morning, they attended their first classes of the term and herein had a problem in the very first task assigned to them. They had to form a five member group for doing their project work. Now anybody who has done a PG would attest to the importance of Project Members. Typically you come across the following types of co-members:

a. The Free Rider: He/She would be least interested in the happenings around them and all they looked forward to was getting a degree with minimum input and maximum output.

b. The Brain: This species was the brain of the group as the name suggested. They would be the driving force of the group, leading and co-ordinating everything.

c. The Hardworker: All the donkey work right from collecting data, making notes in class, taking printouts and submitting assignments on time would come in their purview.

d. The Espionage Agent: His/Her KRA was simple. Find out what the other groups were upto and bring back inputs which would be crucial in ensuring that their group was not at the bottom of the pile. Any means used to gather this information was considered fair, including doing cosy dinners, emotional atyaachaar and flaunting of assets (if any).

e. The Formatter: Last but definitely not the least. Their role was crucial as presentations were key in an MBA. Absolute rubbish presented in the most technologically advanced and sophisticated manner accompanied by large doses of gyaan usually won the day. The duty of the Formatter started after the group had finalized its presentation matter. He/ She would then make such drastic changes to the slides that the rest of the members would also be shocked (pleasantly ofcourse) when it was presented the next day.

While Aurangzeb, Ladykiller and The Consultant had not as yet come to these definitive conclusions about their roles, they recognized that they needed two more individuals to fulfill the criteria of five members. And they bumped into them the very next day at the college canteen. The Knight and Sambaji were loitering around outside the canteen looking for three additional members to complete their own group. And it went somewhat like this:

“Hey you” said The Knight
“Hey you yourself” said Ladykiller
“We were looking for some members for our group” said The Knight
“Us too” said The Consultant
“We would rather have three chicks, but since they all got booked ages ago, how about you joining us?” said Sambaji
“Oh we love speaking in falsettos” said Aurangzeb who was slightly miffed with this sexist statement
“Done” said Ladykiller quickly before things escalated any further.

And off they went to grab a beer.

So this was how the first part of the Conquerors met up and would go on to form "The Buffering Theory" after they met up with Shivaji, The Buffer and the rest of them.


Note:
1. All characters are fictional. Resemblance, if any is purely coincidental.
2. Kindly refer the opening post on Buffering Theories for any reference to the main characters.