Dwarf 4:
Dwarf 4 joined the Conqueror’s when they were in their first term at La La Land. Shivaji, Sambaji, Aurangzeb, The Buffer, The Consultant, Ladykiller and The Knight were joined by Jack (the Ripper). Now Jack hailed from the eastern parts of India and while overall a nice guy was at that stage in life when adolescence meets adulthood. And as such was very susceptible to the charms of the fairer sex.
And it was during one of the times when he was hanging out with The Conqueror’s that he chanced upon Snow White. Snow White was ofcourse following her daily routine, which was………….you guessed right …………. making friends across campus, doing assignments with Aurangzeb and hanging out with B Company. And the moment he set eyes on her, the heart did a somersault, the knees did their customary weakening, the brain circuits went fuzzy and lo and behold…………he was dwarfed.
But how now was this young chappie with not much experience of wooing the young ladies supposed to go about professing his love? The solution came to him exactly seven and a half seconds after he started thinking about it. He needed an agony aunt. So he started a SWOT analysis of the options available to him:
1. Shivaji: Shivaji was like the aunt who caused agony rather than one who was able to solve it. So he was ruled out immediately.
2. Sambaji: Sambaji could have been a good choice but he was also dropped by Jack due to a possibility of a conflict of interest at a later stage.
3. The Knight: Wrong option. He was inclined to gallop towards damsels in distress and ride off with them into the sunset and this did not suit Jack’s purpose at all.
4. Ladykiller: Yeah right!!!
5. Aurangzeb: The number one candidate as he used to do his project assignments with Snow White and could be relied on for some insider information.
6. The Buffer: The backup option. He was good at giving advice but whether following it would lead Jack to the top of the beanstalk needed further retrospection.
So he approached Aurangzeb with the proposition of becoming his agony aunt:
Jack: Aurangzeb buddy, got a minute to spare?
Aurangzeb: Yeah sure
Jack: I am in love with Snow White
Aurangzeb: Ok
Jack: You don’t seem surprised at this revelation
Aurangzeb: Well, I have been observing you gaping at her with a lovelorn puppy look on your face for the past few days and hence your confession wasn’t as earth shattering as you might have expected.
Jack: So what do you think my next move should be?
Aurangzeb: If you think she reciprocates your………errr………..love……….go right ahead and ask her out
Jack: And if not?
Aurangzeb: Then don’t
Jack: Is that all you have to suggest? Dosnt seem to be much of a strategy to me
Aurangzeb: Dude, Im Aurangzeb. I don’t go out conquering new lands. You are asking the wrong guy here
Jack: But you are in the same project group as her. I thought you would be able to give me some valuable insights.
Aurangzeb: (Grunts absentmindedly while scouring the net for football news)
Seeing Aurangzeb’s very apparent lack of interest in his love life, he then made a mitigation plan and approached the backup option…………..The Buffer!!!
When Jack entered The Buffer’s room, he saw that The Buffer was lying on his bed like Cleopatra, covered from head to toe with a chaddar and deeply engrossed in watching something on his laptop which by the nature of sounds emanating from it sounded like it belonged to the “A rated” genre.
“Dude, I desperately need your help” said Jack. The Buffer (very graciously) shut down his laptop and gave him his undivided attention. Jack enunciated his dilemma to The Buffer, pointedly highlighting Aurangzeb’s deficiencies in devising strategies and outlining his hope that The Buffer would do better.
“Footwear” said The Buffer with a wise look on his face. “Eh???” said Jack now thoroughly puzzled. “Do you mean to say that I should gift her a pair of shoes?” he asked.
“No, you dumbass” said The Buffer. “Footwear maketh the lady. Let me explain. The type of gear that she has on her feet gives an insight into her personality. Flats indicate Rani Mukherjee, pumps mean Priyanka Chopra and stilettos…………oooohhh Mallika Sherawat!!!”
After a lot of discussions, arguments and counter arguments, they finally agreed that Snow White was in the Rani Mukherjee category – this indicated a stable and well balanced personality as per Bufferonomics.
And hence they finalized that a book would be the ideal gift for her. The next day, after trawling through a lot of bookstores in La La land, Jack selected “Maximum City” by Suketu Mehta, had it gift wrapped and went in search of Snow White. After locating her on campus, he took her away to a discreet corner and gifted her the above mentioned with the following inscription:
For the damsel who loves maximum city,
Whose heart has the maximum kindness,
A token of my maximum love,
Hoping you too love me to the maximum,
Love, Jack.
Snow White saw the inscription with a feeling of déjà vu, scribbled a note of her own below the one written by Jack and walked away. It read:
The maximum we can be is just friends!!!
And therein ended the story for Dwarf 4.
Note:
1. All characters are fictional. Resemblance, if any, is purely coincidental.
2. Kindly refer the opening post on Buffering Theories for any reference to the main characters.
Dwarf 4 joined the Conqueror’s when they were in their first term at La La Land. Shivaji, Sambaji, Aurangzeb, The Buffer, The Consultant, Ladykiller and The Knight were joined by Jack (the Ripper). Now Jack hailed from the eastern parts of India and while overall a nice guy was at that stage in life when adolescence meets adulthood. And as such was very susceptible to the charms of the fairer sex.
And it was during one of the times when he was hanging out with The Conqueror’s that he chanced upon Snow White. Snow White was ofcourse following her daily routine, which was………….you guessed right …………. making friends across campus, doing assignments with Aurangzeb and hanging out with B Company. And the moment he set eyes on her, the heart did a somersault, the knees did their customary weakening, the brain circuits went fuzzy and lo and behold…………he was dwarfed.
But how now was this young chappie with not much experience of wooing the young ladies supposed to go about professing his love? The solution came to him exactly seven and a half seconds after he started thinking about it. He needed an agony aunt. So he started a SWOT analysis of the options available to him:
1. Shivaji: Shivaji was like the aunt who caused agony rather than one who was able to solve it. So he was ruled out immediately.
2. Sambaji: Sambaji could have been a good choice but he was also dropped by Jack due to a possibility of a conflict of interest at a later stage.
3. The Knight: Wrong option. He was inclined to gallop towards damsels in distress and ride off with them into the sunset and this did not suit Jack’s purpose at all.
4. Ladykiller: Yeah right!!!
5. Aurangzeb: The number one candidate as he used to do his project assignments with Snow White and could be relied on for some insider information.
6. The Buffer: The backup option. He was good at giving advice but whether following it would lead Jack to the top of the beanstalk needed further retrospection.
So he approached Aurangzeb with the proposition of becoming his agony aunt:
Jack: Aurangzeb buddy, got a minute to spare?
Aurangzeb: Yeah sure
Jack: I am in love with Snow White
Aurangzeb: Ok
Jack: You don’t seem surprised at this revelation
Aurangzeb: Well, I have been observing you gaping at her with a lovelorn puppy look on your face for the past few days and hence your confession wasn’t as earth shattering as you might have expected.
Jack: So what do you think my next move should be?
Aurangzeb: If you think she reciprocates your………errr………..love……….go right ahead and ask her out
Jack: And if not?
Aurangzeb: Then don’t
Jack: Is that all you have to suggest? Dosnt seem to be much of a strategy to me
Aurangzeb: Dude, Im Aurangzeb. I don’t go out conquering new lands. You are asking the wrong guy here
Jack: But you are in the same project group as her. I thought you would be able to give me some valuable insights.
Aurangzeb: (Grunts absentmindedly while scouring the net for football news)
Seeing Aurangzeb’s very apparent lack of interest in his love life, he then made a mitigation plan and approached the backup option…………..The Buffer!!!
When Jack entered The Buffer’s room, he saw that The Buffer was lying on his bed like Cleopatra, covered from head to toe with a chaddar and deeply engrossed in watching something on his laptop which by the nature of sounds emanating from it sounded like it belonged to the “A rated” genre.
“Dude, I desperately need your help” said Jack. The Buffer (very graciously) shut down his laptop and gave him his undivided attention. Jack enunciated his dilemma to The Buffer, pointedly highlighting Aurangzeb’s deficiencies in devising strategies and outlining his hope that The Buffer would do better.
“Footwear” said The Buffer with a wise look on his face. “Eh???” said Jack now thoroughly puzzled. “Do you mean to say that I should gift her a pair of shoes?” he asked.
“No, you dumbass” said The Buffer. “Footwear maketh the lady. Let me explain. The type of gear that she has on her feet gives an insight into her personality. Flats indicate Rani Mukherjee, pumps mean Priyanka Chopra and stilettos…………oooohhh Mallika Sherawat!!!”
After a lot of discussions, arguments and counter arguments, they finally agreed that Snow White was in the Rani Mukherjee category – this indicated a stable and well balanced personality as per Bufferonomics.
And hence they finalized that a book would be the ideal gift for her. The next day, after trawling through a lot of bookstores in La La land, Jack selected “Maximum City” by Suketu Mehta, had it gift wrapped and went in search of Snow White. After locating her on campus, he took her away to a discreet corner and gifted her the above mentioned with the following inscription:
For the damsel who loves maximum city,
Whose heart has the maximum kindness,
A token of my maximum love,
Hoping you too love me to the maximum,
Love, Jack.
Snow White saw the inscription with a feeling of déjà vu, scribbled a note of her own below the one written by Jack and walked away. It read:
The maximum we can be is just friends!!!
And therein ended the story for Dwarf 4.
Note:
1. All characters are fictional. Resemblance, if any, is purely coincidental.
2. Kindly refer the opening post on Buffering Theories for any reference to the main characters.
1 comment:
:) but Priyanka Chopra = pumps?????
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