31 Oct 2011

RR - 021: Femme Fatale

Femme Fatale: A femme fatale is a mysterious and seductive woman whose charms ensnare her lovers in bonds of irresistible desire, often leading them into compromising, dangerous, and deadly situations.

Source: Wikipedia

Femme Fatale (introduced in RR – 012: Of Hot Potatoes and Doomed Capers – Part II) was, as the name suggested, quite ensnaring. She was of medium height, had a good figure and was an excellent dancer. But the ensnaring stuff was more to do with her persona rather than her physical attributes. The trick was in making her intended target feel that he was the most important person for her in the world. She could charm a stray dog into wearing a leash so as to say - and in a way, that’s what she usually managed to do.

The Conquerors only came into contact sporadically with her during the course of their adventures, but that little was enough to make them quite wary of her……well, some of them atleast. Their first brush with her came through Ladykiller. As mentioned earlier, his strategy to woo chicks was to study with the guys and then teach the girls. And so, before Ladykiller and Madame became “friends”, Femme Fatale, Sidekick 1 and Sidekick 2 used to hang out a lot in Ladykiller, Aurangzeb and The Consultant’s room (during assignment solving times atleast). This used to make Aurangzeb and The Consultant most uncomfortable and hence they used to go and take “shelter” so as to say with Sambaji and The Buffer in their room.

And these attentions of Femme Fatale were most definitely not appreciated by Madame as she was also vying for Ladykiller at that point of time. As a result, there were some not so nice vibes between Madame and Femme Fatale and all this reached boiling point when they had gone out clubbing one Saturday night. Madame, Femme Fatale, Shivaji, Sambaji, The Buffer and The Knight were all in attendance.

Madame was in a hot black backless number, while Femme Fatale had gone in for a red, off the shoulder one. And the competiton started as soon as they hit the dance floor. First, Madame did the salsa with Ladykiller. But just as they finished, Femme Fatale grabbed him and did the tango with him. They glared at each other, snide remarks were passed, but round 1 had ended even stevens.

They then tried the jealousy route in round 2. Madame danced with Shivaji and Sambaji, Femme Fatale with The Buffer and The Knight. This, they hoped, would evoke latent pangs of jealousy in him.

Ladykiller at that point was confused……………..and rightly so!!! He found himself torn between choosing from the frying pan and the fire. The game at this point was very much in the balance but just when it seemed that things would end up in a tie, Madame acted. Madame ofcourse was a past master at dealing with fatal femme’s and when her competitor had gone to use the powder room (to reapply the facial ministrations which had worn a bit thin due to her physical exertions) she took Ladykiller outside on the pretext of a smoke and what she did thence has been a mystery till date but from that point of time he was confused no more. He repeatedly and continuously gave Femme Fatale the cold shoulder till she gave up (grudgingly ofcourse).

Their next brush with her came during one of the many Saturday nights that they used to go out partying. The Conquerors had invited Gengis Khan and Mel B to go out clubbing with them. But Gengis (who had a roving eye to put it delicately) somehow managed to ensure that Mel B did not come along and instead managed to get Femme Fatale and Sidekick 1 with him. And enroute to the party, Shivaji and Gengis managed to detach themselves from the main pack(with the chicks ofcourse) and reach an alternate party scene much to Sambaji’s dismay. They ofcourse had a very good time there but claimed to have had temporary amnesia whenever quizzed about it later on by the others. But Sambaji had his revenge the next day when he “innocently” asked Mel B about her whereabouts of the previous night and in return conveyed theirs and then sat back and enjoyed the firing that she gave her lesser half.

Their final brush with Femme Fatale came during something known as the “Committee Selection Week”. As mentioned previously, there were a lot of Clubs in LLM (La La Land of Management for the uninitiated). Everybody used to vie to be on the Committee of these Clubs. Why? Not because it was a paid position. But because of the fact that it was just one more thing to put in your CV and gas about in the interview when the corporates came calling.

Femme Fatale was assessing her options before the selections started. The Marketing Club was out as Madame was on it. Mel B had ensured that Gengis would not be able to select her into the Party Club. Finance was beyond the realm of her sensibilities and The Humanly Resourceful Club did not have any guys on it that she could charm into selecting her. That left only one club in the reckoning. And that was The Ops Club. And it had MAC (Moron with A hot Chick) on it. Now, as the name suggests, MAC was a rather obscure personality, redeemed only by the fact that he had a hot girlfriend. And so, thought Femme Fatale, here was a very good opportunity to show MAC that the grass was greener on the other side.

The entire college had gone for a beach party on one of the many beaches dotting the landscape in La La Land. And for those who have led a sheltered life, let me tell you that beaches, booze and babes is a very dangerous combination indeed. As MAC was soon to find out. He had had a few too many jolly ones and upon hitting the dance floor for the umpteenth time (minus the gf this time) was pounced upon by Femme Fatale. And yes, she followed the salsa, tango routine again with the cha cha cha thrown in for good measure.

MAC was floored. Not by the dancing skills exhibited by Femme Fatale but due to a lusty blow smack in the face from his furious girlfriend, who promptly dragged him home from the party. Ladykiller was shell shocked. Had he backed the wrong…….ummm…..filly in this particular race he wondered? Shivaji and Sambaji sat agape. They were hoping that she would take the jealousy route again to woo MAC with them as props in it.

What happened next???

Unfortunately for Femme Fatale, she did not manage to get onto the committee of any of the clubs due to the above mentioned misdeeds and misdemeanours. She did however manage to ensnare Gassy (who could spew marketing jargon like the fumes emitted by a poorly combusted lorry) and went off the market shortly. Gassy, needless to say, was in an eminent position in college and had hence attracted interest from Femme Fatale.

Ladykiller and Madame became very close “friends” leading to future scandals like the one with the crashing clock among others.

Gengis and Mel split up leading to Mel starting to hang out with The Conquerors (who always welcomed any form of company with open arms provided it was of the fairer sex).

MAC and his girlfriend managed to kiss and make up post the furore created by Femme Fatale (aided by much groveling and begging on the part of MAC)

Aurangzeb and The Consultant were finally able to get back to their room and live happily ever after (well, not for long, as Madame soon landed up there)

The Conquerors, led ably by Shivaji and Sambaji, started immediately plotting on acquiring their next target.


Note:


1. All characters are fictional. Resemblance, if any, is purely coincidental.


2. Kindly refer the opening post on Buffering Theories for any reference to the main characters.


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