It was a Saturday night. Shivaji and Sambaji were absconding. The Buffer was waving the flag. That left only The Knight and Aurangzeb to party away the night. It was like having a football team whose strikers are out injured and have been replaced by two holding midfielders. The creativity and flair of the conquerors had gone missing.
So off went the two to the bar across the road. They had planned to sit by the river and and drown their bachelorhood sorrows in a coupla pints. But once they reached there, they were invited by a group of acquaintances to join them……… and so they did.
The table had the following members in attendance:
1. The Knight: he who needs no introduction
2. Aurangzeb: he too who needs no introduction
3. Turbanator: He needed no helmet on a bike. And was the quintessential Loins of Punjab.
4. Universal Soldier: He was six and a half feet in height. With bulging muscles and a compulsive disorder to stir up trouble.
5. IWPAF (I wanna pick a fight): The name suggests it all.
6. Psycho: He was on a permanent high. On alcohol or many a time something harder.
A bottle of Old Monk Rum was opened on the table and its contents partaken in generous doses. As the bottle rapidly emptied, Universal Soldier came up with the bright idea of going out someplace to sample some roadside delicacies.
And so off they went, the merry band of 6 vrooming away on four two wheelers. The order was as follows: Turbanator riding a Bullet with Universal Soldier as pillion, IWPAF riding a Pulsar with Psycho as pillion, The Knight on his Unicorn and Aurangzeb on his more modest Splendor.
Now, the roads in La La Land are narrow, twisting and turning. There was one such particular turn which was S shaped in nature. Not the ideal track to go motorbike racing at midnight. But Old Monk tends to make you kinda forget that. So round the first bend went Turbanator at 100 kmph riding wheel to wheel with IWPAF. At the first curve, Turbanator had his front wheel marginally ahead while on the second, it was IWPAF with the lead. As they reached the third curve, however, Turbanator in his zest to race ahead, pulled on the accelerator with great gusto and forgot to apply the brakes to take care of Newtons Second Law of Motion……….Inertia. There was a wide ditch beside the road into which dived the Bullet (quite gracefully if you think about it) and Turbanator (not quite as gracefully if you think some more about it) with it.
Now this Turbanator was not quite the stereotype as portrayed in most stories. He reacted instinctively and instead of trying to jump away from the bike or resist the downward plunge of the two wheeler, he dived into the ditch with it resulting in him having a couple of grazed knees at the worst. Universal Soldier, however, was not so lucky. He was flung off the bike with quite a good amount of force and did a couple of tumbling somersaults across the adjoining lawn. And to be frank, when Universal Soldiers get Black Eyes and roughed up faces their resemblance to Jean Claude Van Damme dims even further.
He was stunned to say the least. This was just not part of the script. The other four members of the now defunct bike race quickly dismounted from their rides to help out their fallen buddies. While The Knight and Aurangzeb tended to Universal Soldier, IWPAF and Psycho were more interested in hauling up the bike. Now, just as soon as the bike and Universal Soldier were both brought back to their right side up, Turbanator started hitting the rear seat vigorously and shouted “Tu Punjab ka Sher hai………..aa baith jaa peeche”. Universal Soldier was dumbstruck. Forget about checking on his well being. Forget about checking the bike. Forget about apologizing about the accident. Here was this guy encouraging him to get back on the bike and ride pillion in double quick time. Truly Surd stuff.
Much to The Knight and Aurangzeb’s surprise, he did get back on the bike and the four of them again zoomed away into the night. Our comrades however did not join them. Another Lion that night might have been too much to handle.
Note:
1. All characters are fictional. Resemblance, if any is purely coincidental.
2. Kindly refer the opening post on Buffering Theories for any reference to the main characters.
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