RR-008: Buffering Theories

The Buffer: One that protects by intercepting or moderating adverse pressures or influences/ something that separates potentially antagonistic entities.

Source: www.thefreedictionary.com


Main Cast Of Characters:

1. The Buffer: He hailed from the North. But hated Delhities. Tall and broad (tending to fat), he roamed around campus in his patented "baniyans" and loved to show off his stretch marks which evidenced his increasing girth. He was committed to his off campus girlfriend and thus was made committed to the cause i.e. he became the designated buffer. The job description of the buffer was simple - to take care of potentially antagonistic entities, in this case guys of targeted groups thus allowing license to thrill to the "Shivaji's".

2. Shivaji: He believed he could float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. But usually ended up stinging the butterfly itself. He was hilarious to be with, more so as his gaffes were unintentional and always came at the wrong moment. He believed in cluster bombing. Fire at multiple targets at once and you were sure to hit one was his funda in life. Sadly for him, not all fundas in life actually come true.

3. Sambaji: Trusted aide de camp to Shivaji in the matter of cluster bombing. He brought some method to Shivaji's madness. Some strategy to the insanity. He always managed to charm the pretty chicks on the dance floor with his grooves and moves but ended up being caught in the pics the next day. But he usually managed to get away by blaming Bacardi Martini Pvt Ltd for the previous night's excesses.

4. The Knight (In Shining Armour): He was notorious from Day 1 for his "Mandovi Pul Ke Tale" misdemeanours. He was of medium height, but packed enough muscle to push two drunk six foot plus Punjabi Mundas through the boys hostel single handedly. He took his designated duties of helping and protecting women extremely seriously by whisking them away from under Shivaji's and Sambaji's respective noses on his 150 cc Unicorn leading to much gnashing of teeth and heartburn. He believed subtlety and not the directness of cluster bombing would lead him to the damsels.

5. Aurangzeb: Where Shivaji & Sambaji roamed the roads looking for new lands to conquer, Aurangzeb believed in conquering their conquered territories while they were away. Positively Machiavellian in nature. His innocent looks belied his scheming ways. In a sense he was the anti buffer.

Guest Appearances:

1. The Consultant: He looked like a firang and behaved like one too. Daataa was his forte. He joined as a vegetarian, teetotaler and non fagger. And finished up being none of those. Extremely excitable, he always lived life on the edge and was prone to swinging from one extreme to the other.

2. Ladykiller: As the name suggests, he was irresistible to the ladies. Or thought so. His strategy to woo the ladies was simple. Study with the guys. And then teach the girls. Thus creating a virtual harem in his room. Unfortunately for him, when the results came out, usually the girls passed and he ended up flunking.

3. Gyaani Baba: He was the king of gyaan and had an opinion on every possible thing on earth. When in form, he could argue the hind legs off a donkey. He tried to take the gyaan route to charm the chicks. But that was like trying to cure tonsils by putting a hand up your backside.